4
Restraining/No Contact Orders
2 for DV against separate spouses. 1 is a lifetime RO, UPDATE: 1 year RO was converted to LIFETIME!
2 for Child Neglect/Abuse of his children
$75K+
In unsatisfied Judgements when interest included
Child Support & Civil Judgements/Contempt
12+
Years of avoiding financial responsibility for his children
Pays less that 10% of ordered child support if he pays at all.
12
Contempt of Court findings Levied against him
Refusal to follow court orders.
Mark A. Stephens - Rewriting History
For years, Mark Anthony Stephens has tried to control his public image through carefully curated social media posts.
What started as a campaign to "save his marriage" has now evolved into a new narrative—one where he casts himself as a devoted father being unjustly kept from his children due to false allegations.
But the facts tell a different story.
Mark was found guilty of child abuse and neglect. Instead of owning the consequences, he’s chosen to spin a series of shifting narratives to avoid accountability.
At first, it was about being the victim of a “smear campaign.” But no campaign ever really existed. Then it became about fighting for his marriage—until that narrative ran out of steam and has nearly disappeared from his feed.
Now, he's pivoted again—posting decade-old photos in an attempt to prove he was an involved father. But isolated moments from the past don’t erase the truth. He references “proof” of his innocence constantly, yet never provides it. He even promises a book release that continues to be “coming soon”—a distraction tactic used to stall, deflect, and gain sympathy.
Most concerning is his use of scripture to position himself as the “ordained leader” or “stronger vessel” of his family. That isn’t faith—it’s spiritual manipulation. Real leadership is rooted in humility, not ego. In service, not control. In truth, not performance.
God doesn’t bless abuse. He doesn’t endorse the rewriting of history for image management. And He does not appoint those who harm others as righteous leaders.
The “Book” That Never Comes
He regularly claims there’s a book “coming soon” that will reveal the truth and prove his innocence. But the book never arrives. It’s a distraction tactic meant to keep people emotionally hooked and uncertain—buying him time and attention.
Ongoing Defiance of Court Orders
Mr. Stephens has already been held in contempt for violating a No Contact order meant to protect his children—specifically for posting messages on Facebook about and to them, tagging them directly. While he no longer tags them by name, he hasn’t stopped the behavior.
Instead, he’s shifted to vague tags like @followers and @highlight, continuing to send messages clearly meant for his children while skirting direct violations. This isn’t about fatherhood. It’s about control, defiance, and image maintenance—even at the cost of court compliance and emotional safety.
Mark isn’t offering leadership.
He’s offering image control.
And one can only hope that people are finally seeing through it.
Do Your Own Research. See the Pattern.
We encourage every visitor to take the time to review both the court records and Mark Anthony Stephens’ social media content. Look closely at what’s documented—and what’s being said. Compare the public image being crafted with the legal outcomes and repeated behaviors.
This isn’t about telling you what to believe. It’s about empowering you to make your own informed decision based on verifiable facts.
Check the court records.
Read the case files. - Case Files and link to look up Case files are in the next section.
Watch how the narrative shifts on social media over time.
The truth doesn’t need editing, emotional spin, or carefully curated images from a decade ago. It speaks for itself—if you’re willing to look.
Mark A. Stephens Jr.
Case files in Clark, and Cowlitz Counties in Washington State levied against Mark Stephens
View the Washington State Superior Court Records yourself
Please read the case files to come to your own conclusion.
DVP Domestic Violence Case # 13-2-07919-8
DV Case against Mark Stephen in his 1st marriage. Permanent RO against Mark Stephens is issued in Case #13-3-02559-8
DIC Dissolution of Marriage with Children Case # 13-3-02559-8
Order of divorce from Mark Stephens & 1st spouse, child support order (This case is the most lengthy)
MOD3 Domestic Modification Case # 23-3-00490-08
Protecting Mark Stephens Children. Mental Health and domestic violence evaluation and following mental health providers recommendations required to consider RO being lifted.
DIN Dissolution of Marriage with No Children Case # 24-3-00769-06
Divorce case of Mark A. Stephens Jr. and his current spouse.
CPO Civil Protection Order Case # 24-2-07393-06
UPDATE 2/20/2025: Mr. Stephens temporary order levied against him was converted to a LIFETIME Domestic Violence Restraining Order.
This order is protecting his current estranged spouse from Mark Stephens Jr.
Mark Stephens Jr. will claim "False Information" and "False Accusations" if anyone dare expose him and his activities.
Please protect yourself from Mark Anthony Stephens by arming yourself with the correct information by doing your own research and coming to your own conclusion. Clark & Cowlitz County Clerks offices have public computers that allow you to see all public records that show the details that you aren't able to see online.
Use the smart case number look up tool to view the records on the case. Full view of records are on file at Clark County Washington Court House.
For No Contact / Restraining order information, please contact Clark County & Cowlitz County Sheriff's Offices for more information, as they may not be recorded the same way general judgements are.
Questions about child support?
Please call us at 800-442-KIDS (5437). This automated system allows quick access to your case manager by entering your case number. If you do not have a case, or do not know your number, press "0" for staff assistance. For further information on how to use the KIDS line, please read the full instructions.
Mark Anthony Stephens Jr. in action.
Mr. Stephens Edited Posts
Mr. Stephens posts a message stating "I WAS WRONG" with a photo of him smiling beside the car he was supposed to have sold for his "book tour". Notice NO TEARS! Self proclaiming he is a better husband. Saying he is sorry for the way he treated his wife, but also saying she was wrong also. Why would someone have to find a more suitable photo 3 DAYS AFTER the heavy heart? Looks like he's taking the high road.... But is he really?
Manipulative Behavior: Adopting a victim role to elicit sympathy, control narratives, or gain advantages in personal or professional relationships.
THREE DAYS LATER Mark edits the post to show him in tears. 
While also changing the title to "I WAS WRONG/ We were wrong"
Here is the post text in it's entirety.
Mr. Stephens pretends to be an expert in marriage... He can't spell women, he spells it "wemon" consistently in his posts and hashtags.
Mark Anthony Stephens Jr. contradiction.
Mr. Stephens posts a message stating "I WAS WRONG" constantly posts messages about not talking bad about your spouse or bring your marital problems into the public eye on social media, but nearly every post he makes is blame pushing and talking about his ex and her issues on social media. One example Jan 10th 2024 he posts about being accused of stalking his estranged wife while his Aunt (Diana Diaz) is calling her crazy and mentally unstable. That post and comment are still visible on his Facebook page. On his Victorious Marriage Restoring Love page, (recently changed to Victory in Marriage) he posts a shared message about now allowing your "Dysfunctional Family" to talk negatively about your spouse. I think he means. "My family can talk about you and your mental health, but don't you dare let your family talk about me and my mental health. If you do then YOU and YOUR family are Dysfunctional."
Is Mark A. Stephens message genuine?
If someone’s actions contradict the self-awareness, accountability, and humility expressed in their words, it may indicate a disconnect between their intentions and behavior. This can happen for various reasons, and it's important to approach the situation with clarity, empathy, and boundaries. Here’s how to assess and respond to such contradictions:
1. Understanding Possible Reasons for Contradictions
- Unresolved Trauma: They might genuinely desire growth but struggle to implement change due to deeply rooted patterns from past trauma.
- Cognitive Dissonance: They may believe in the values they express but find it difficult to act on them, creating a gap between intentions and behavior.
- Lack of True Reflection: Their words could stem from a desire to be seen in a certain light rather than from a genuine commitment to change.
- Manipulative Tendencies: In some cases, such contradictions may signal intentional efforts to present a false image, which could be linked to narcissistic tendencies.
2. Signs of Genuine Growth vs. Surface-Level Change
- Genuine Growth: Comes with consistent effort, accountability, apologies for harm caused, and visible behavioral changes over time.
- Surface-Level Change: Focuses on words, grand gestures, or seeking validation, but lacks sustained actions that align with the stated values.
3. Assessing Narcissistic Patterns
- Patterns of Blame: Do they blame others (e.g., their spouse or circumstances) for their failures rather than owning their role?
- Lack of Empathy: Do they continue to dismiss or invalidate the feelings of those around them, despite claiming to care?
- Inconsistency: Are their efforts toward healing short-lived, only resurfacing when they feel their image or relationships are at risk?
Yet he has 2 DV Restraining orders from 2 different women and 2 NO CONTACT orders for his children. 1 is still active for minor child. Other only expired due to his oldest turing 18 years old. AND his family is calling her a "Nut Case".
Mark Anthony Stephens Jr. contradictions Continues.
Mr. Stephens asserts that he is healing from a relationship with a narcissistic partner, despite evidence indicating that he was the perpetrator of domestic violence. His claims of victimhood follow a clear pattern of blame-shifting.
Just one day after having yet ANOTHER LIFETIME Restraining order placed against him, he restarted the campaign of attempting to change the narrative away from him being an abusers, to his estranged ex being an "adulterer".
Even when a narcissist faces severe legal consequences—such as being issued a lifetime restraining order—their need to control the narrative often persists. Although direct contact is now legally prohibited, they may still resort to indirect methods (like social media posts or communication through mutual acquaintances) to continue their manipulative behavior. In these cases, accusing their partner of adultery can serve several purposes:
-
Deflection from Their Own Misconduct:
Facing the reality of legal actions, they might accuse their partner of infidelity as a way to divert attention from the behaviors that led to the restraining order. -
Undermining the Partner’s Credibility:
Without the option for direct confrontation, they may use third parties or online platforms to spread allegations. This tactic aims to tarnish the partner’s reputation and reassert control over the narrative. -
Projection and Blame-Shifting:
They often project their own insecurities and wrongdoing onto their partner. By claiming that the partner is unfaithful, they shift the focus away from their own actions. -
Reinforcing a Victim Narrative:
Even under legal restriction, portraying themselves as the aggrieved party remains a key strategy. By alleging adultery, they seek to garner sympathy and create the impression that they are being unfairly targeted, despite their own problematic behavior. -
Indirect Emotional Manipulation:
The stress of a restraining order might intensify their need to manipulate perceptions. They can continue to influence mutual contacts or online communities, trying to frame the situation in a way that benefits their self-image.
It’s important to remember that any attempts to bypass legal restrictions or harass a partner can have serious consequences. If you’re dealing with this kind of situation, consider seeking both legal advice and support from mental health professionals.
While these behaviors can signal that someone is using the victim role to deflect from their abusive actions, remember that each situation is unique. If you’re dealing with such dynamics, it might be helpful to seek guidance from a trusted mental health professional or support group who understands these patterns.
Is Mark A. Stephens message genuine?
Narcissists often use the tactic of accusing their partner of adultery as a form of projection and manipulation. This accusation typically surfaces under circumstances where the narcissist feels threatened, insecure, or challenged. Here are some common scenarios:
-
Deflection from Their Own Behavior:
When confronted about their own infidelities or shortcomings, a narcissist may accuse their partner of cheating to shift focus away from themselves. -
Maintaining Control and Dominance:
Accusing a partner of adultery can serve as a tool to destabilize their partner’s confidence and assert control over the relationship dynamics. -
Reacting to Perceived Criticism or Threats:
If the narcissist feels that their authority or image is being challenged—perhaps by a partner’s growing independence or by honest feedback—they might preemptively blame the partner for infidelity as a way to justify their own actions or to create a narrative where they appear wronged. -
Projection of Insecurities:
Often, the narcissist’s own deep-seated insecurities or fear of abandonment manifest as accusations of adultery. By claiming their partner is unfaithful, they attempt to externalize and manage their internal turmoil. -
Emotional Manipulation:
Such accusations can also be a deliberate tactic to sow discord and mistrust, thereby isolating the partner and reinforcing the narcissist's control over the relationship.
While these behaviors are common among narcissistic individuals, each situation can vary. Understanding these patterns can be helpful, but if you find yourself in such a situation, seeking support from a mental health professional or a trusted support system can be very beneficial.
Is Mark A. Stephens message genuine?
Feb 21, 2025, 11:14AM - Mark starts single post masking restart with restoring relationship with "aduktress" message.
Feb 21, 2025, 11:16AM - Mark corrects "adultress" but doesn't fix #trueestherwemon hashtag
Yes, a narcissist may indeed escalate their pressure if they feel they are losing control or power within a relationship. This escalation is part of their strategy to reassert dominance and protect their self-image. Over time, if they sense that their influence is waning, they might intensify their behaviors in several ways:
-
Increased Emotional Manipulation: They may amplify tactics like gaslighting or blame shifting to make you question your reality and reassert control over the narrative.
-
Heightened Criticism and Intimidation: As a way to destabilize your confidence, they might resort to more aggressive or demeaning language, trying to undermine your self-worth even further.
-
Greater Isolation Tactics: To maintain power, they could work harder to isolate you from supportive networks, ensuring that you have fewer resources to challenge their narrative.
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Escalation of Coercive Behaviors: Whether through subtle coercion or overt intimidation, the pressure can increase as they attempt to force a return to the status quo where they hold all the power.
Keep in mind that these responses are defensive mechanisms aimed at preserving their self-esteem and control. If you’re experiencing these escalating behaviors, it’s important to consider seeking professional help or support from trusted individuals or organizations.
Feb 21, 2025, 11:35AM - Mark updates post to add "Never Walk Away" message. And "it takes two"
Feb 21, 2025, 1:48PM - Mark updates post to "We all screw up"
Feb 21, 2025, 1:49PM - Mark updates post to "We all screw up"
Feb 21, 2025, 1:49PM - Mark updates post to "As you know my wife committed adultry" being more direct in blaming as the post was edited." - As a way to destabilize your confidence, they might resort to more aggressive or demeaning language, trying to undermine your self-worth even further.
There's no fixed amount of time—it largely depends on the individual and the context. For many narcissists, deflecting misconduct, undermining credibility, blame shifting, and reinforcing a victim narrative are habitual responses that can emerge almost immediately when they feel challenged. In interpersonal interactions, these behaviors might be evident throughout an entire conversation or interaction, while in other cases, they might surge at key moments when the narcissist perceives a threat to their self-image.
In essence, these tactics are not isolated incidents but rather recurring elements woven into their overall behavior. The "time spent" is less about minutes or hours and more about how consistently these strategies are used as part of their ongoing efforts to protect their self-image and manipulate the narrative.
Narcissist may very well turn the tables and claim that those who call them a narcissist are the ones displaying narcissistic traits. This behavior is less about an objective evaluation of personality and more about a calculated move to undermine criticism and maintain dominance in the relationship.
Yes, they are still technically married by law. Mr. Stephens talks about the legality of marriage and the piece of paper that holds it together is just that, "a piece of paper".
While the Bible does not explicitly say “leave your abusive spouse,” its overarching principles of love, respect, and care for one’s well-being suggest that enduring an abusive relationship is not what God intends for marriage. For those facing such situations, it is important to seek help—from trusted spiritual leaders, counselors, and legal authorities—while prayerfully considering the best path to safety and healing.
Mr. Stephens estranged wife has made it clear she intends on moving on from the abusive relationship for well over a year now. She left him once before this final time, with him promising to be a better husband. Mark's estranged wife has sought help from spiritual leaders, counselors, and legal authorities. All of whom were blasted by Mr. Stephens as being "fake, false, lying, or not true believers".
Narcissist can become intensely focused on specific details—often fragments of truth—that they later distort using gaslighting tactics. This behavior typically involves:
-
Selective Focus: They zero in on isolated incidents or details that can be manipulated to support their narrative, ignoring the broader context or other facts that might contradict their version of events.
-
Exaggeration and Distortion: By overemphasizing certain "truths," they twist these facts to paint themselves as the victim or to justify their own actions, regardless of the overall reality.
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Gaslighting Techniques: Once they have isolated these aspects, they use gaslighting tactics to make you doubt your own memory or perception. They might repeatedly question your recollection of events, insist that you’re misinterpreting the situation, or even claim that you’re fabricating details.
-
Reinforcing Control: This focused distortion not only shifts blame but also undermines your confidence, making it harder to stand up against their manipulation. It’s a calculated effort to maintain power and control within the relationship.
In essence, by taking selective truths and twisting them, a narcissist effectively destabilizes your understanding of events, which is a key component of their overall strategy to control and manipulate.
Mark A. Stephens wife left him temporarily in 2022 after in her words was abuse from almost the very beginning of their marriage.
Promising Change Temporarily:
They might offer insincere promises of reform or apologies, hoping to pull the partner back into the relationship. These promises are typically short-lived and serve only to delay the partner’s actions.
Mark A. Stephens reconciled with his estranged wife for about a year, where the abuse started back almost immediately with Isolation tactics.
Increasing Isolation Efforts:
By further isolating the partner from their support network, they aim to maintain a tighter grip on the relationship. This might involve discrediting the advice of counselors or warning against trusted individuals, suggesting that these voices are misguided.
When the abuse continued Mrs. Stephens asked one of her friends to stay with them in their home. Watching his social media posts for the following year show Mr. Stephens attacking her friends motives and credibility.
Escalating Smear Campaigns:
Expect a more aggressive campaign to discredit the partner. They might use social media, mutual acquaintances, or even family members to portray the partner as unstable, irrational, or untrustworthy. This tactic is designed to isolate the partner and weaken any external support.
Mark Stephens posts shown on here that he claims a smear campaign is being levied against him, while he has multiple social media accounts that do that very thing to anyone he deems an "enemy" of his agenda.
Mark Stephens has withheld child support, not paid judgements levied against him, while his estranged wife claims he has $600k in cryptocurrency. He, in the past, has claimed to make only $98 per month in 2014 yet had a tax bill of $42,000+ that resulted in his estranged wife's home being liened by the IRS. It would appear that Mr. Stephens is certainly using the tool of Financial Abuse.
Narcissists may indeed withhold or hide marital assets as a tactic to assert financial control. This behavior is a common element of financial abuse, which is used to keep their partner dependent and limit their independence. Some key points include:
-
Controlling Finances:
By hiding or restricting access to money, the narcissist can ensure their partner remains financially dependent, making it harder to leave the relationship. -
Asset Concealment:
They may set up secret accounts or underreport income and assets to maintain an upper hand, particularly in situations like divorce or legal disputes. -
Leverage and Manipulation:
Keeping financial resources under their control not only asserts dominance but also provides leverage in negotiations, ensuring they can dictate the terms of separation or reconciliation.
If you suspect such behavior, it’s important to consult with legal and financial professionals who specialize in cases of financial abuse to help safeguard your rights and assets.
Mark Anthony Stephens Jr. in action.
"He is a Stalker first to his Ex-Wife with a FOREVER RESTRAINING ORDER for the last 10 Years, No Contact Order from his Kids, a PROTECTION ORDER from me."
"I want to let you know that my EX-HUSBAND Mark A. Stephens has 7 groups and pages he has created as a Smear Campaign. He is a Stalker first to his Ex-Wife with a FOREVER RESTRAINING ORDER for the last 10 Years, No Contact Order from his Kids, a PROTECTION ORDER from me. I asked Joann Carpenter to STAY with me because Mark is a STALKER and has RAGE ANGER CONTROL BULLYING ISOLATION PUT DOWN ISSUES And is Constantly breaking Rest/Protection order Now has a WARRANT In Process. He has Friended many of you putting a POOR ME Message daily on all socials and in messenger. He has severe NPD and Needs deliverance Desperately. I have Videos of His Abusive Behavior causing me to leave my home or lock myself in rooms to escape his Abuse over the last 6 years. To me and my adult children. He HATES the 5 fold Charismatic Community and Isolated me from them calling them and myself a CULT. I BEGGED him to get Deliverance or Go See a Psychologist Councilor. He WOULD Not. He's NEVER Once wanted to be apart of Any marriage group Ever. This was Copy of one I had created prior hes made to gain Followers to his campaign. He's Lost His Mind and is absolutely Unstable. The Abuse had gotten to the point I could take it No Longer it was effecting my Health and Wellbeing. Do Not fall for his Manipulations. He Is Not Well. Please Unfriend and Report him. Do not buy into his pretend story and buy into his lies. You don't deserve it I don't deserve it and most CERTAINLY Joann Carpenter doesn't deserve his HATE VIDEOS AND ATTACKS TO HER MINISTRY FROM HIS VINDICTIVE NARCISSISM. HE HAS BEEN DOING SMEAR CAMPEIGNS TOWARDS HIS EXWIFE AND NOW ME AND JOANN AS WELL. PROTECTION IS IN PLACE AND WILL REMAIN FOR GOOD REASON." - Mark's Estranged Wife
While it is possible for a narcissist to change, it is considered very difficult due to the core nature of their personality disorder, and significant change often requires a strong willingness to self-reflect, seek professional help, and actively work on modifying their behaviors; most importantly, they need to recognize their harmful patterns and genuinely want to change them. None of which Mr. Stephens seems to have done.
While there can be benefits for couples who undergo couple’s therapy, there’s a great risk for any person who is being abused to attend therapy with their abusive partner. Relationship counseling can help partners understand each other, resolve difficult problems, and even help the couple gain a different perspective on their situation. It cannot, however, fix the unequal power structure that is characteristic of an abusive relationship.
Mr. Stephens talks about his childhood trauma, but still pushes blame at his estranged wife since she did also.
{title:site} wants his followers to believe he has changed because he "says so". Using the word of God as a sword to change the narrative of the "smear campaign" he's saying is levied against him.
Mark Stephens is claiming that the house that he and his wife shared is HIS and HIS ALONE. Mark's estranged wife was granted that house in her previous marriage and the subsequent divorce settlement. Mr. Stephens will soon either fire his attorney or force the attorney to resign to prolong the proceedings to "choke her out" financially by delays and locking up a divorce settlement. Blocking her from leveraging the homes value if she needs to.
Mark Stephens is claiming to over pay in child support and the system is "rigged against him". He's decided to pay $50 per child per month. This is enough for WADSHS to not put him in jail. He's on imputed income because he believes he should pay NOTHING in child support and refused to cooperate with the courts to determine his portion of his childrens financial needs. His current level of support is $993 per month for 2 kids.
Mark Anthony Stephens Jr. wants to solve NPD with couples counseling.
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Lack of self-awareness:Narcissists often struggle to recognize their own flaws or how their behavior impacts others, making it difficult for them to engage in therapy aimed at self-reflection and change.
-
Blaming and manipulation:They may deflect blame onto their partner, manipulate the therapist, or use the therapy session to reinforce their own narrative rather than address their issues.
-
Resistance to accountability:Narcissists may become defensive when confronted with their behavior, making it challenging to hold them accountable for their actions.
-
Focus on image maintenance:Their primary concern may be maintaining a positive image, leading them to resist admitting to problems or making necessary changes.
-
Individual therapy:If a narcissist is willing to seek individual therapy, it could be more beneficial as it allows for deeper exploration of their motivations and behaviors without the dynamic of a relationship conflict.
-
A skilled therapist:Finding a therapist experienced in treating narcissism is crucial, as they can identify manipulative tactics and set firm boundaries.
-
Partner self-care:If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, focusing on your own emotional well-being and establishing strong boundaries is critical.
Can an abuser change?
Perpetrators often abuse because of learned attitudes and feelings of entitlement and privilege, which can be difficult to reverse. To start the recovery process, an abuser should locate a certified batterer intervention program immediately. While people do have the capacity to change, they need to genuinely want and be committed to all aspects of change in order to do so. Abusers may see a benefit from having control over a partner and justify the abuse. Ultimately, the abuser is the only person responsible for the abuse and the only person who can decide to change.
Signs an abuser is willing to make changes:
- Admitting fully to what they have done (He will not admit Abuse or Domesticassault he has been charged with)
- Not making excuses or blaming others for their behavior (He says they are both guilty. everyone gets frustrated.)
- Accepting responsibility and recognizing the abuse is a choice (Mr. Stephens has multiple professional agency's, government, legal and medical that have confirmed abuse, yet they are lies in his words)
- Demonstrating respectful, kind, and supportive behaviors (Mr. Stephens continues to push his agenda without regard to the impact. It is however limted due to his multiple Restraining and No Contact Orders)
- Accepting the consequences of their actions (Mark A. Stephens believes that since he is self proclaimed healed that the world needs to forget his transgressions.)
- Changing how they respond to their partners anger and grievances
- Not demanding credit for improvements and changes they have made
- Accepting that the relationship is over if that is the partners request (It's pretty obvious Mark A. Stephens trying to find a way to get his estranged wife and children to see his posts and change their minds)
Typical psychological effects of domestic violence include post-traumatic stress reactions and depression. Domestic violence is also associated with increased suicidal behaviors. Incidents of domestic are rarely isolated and usually escalate in frequency and severity without PROFESSONAL interventions. Mark Stephens has NOT done any private or the COURT ORDERED evaluations or treatment plans for Domestic Violence towards his ex-wife, estranged wife, or the abuse he's perpetrated towards his two young boys.
Mark A. Stephens is attempting to erase the years of abuse that he has perpetrated on his previous wife, estranged wife, and children with words that show he knows what he has been doing is wrong. He's posting messages and memes that are directly what he has and is doing to this day.
The Victimhood Narrative: Mark A. Stephens Playing the Part
Another tactic abusers use is to cast themselves as the victim. Mark A. Stephens may claim that their actions were justified due to stress, provocation, their own trauma perpetrated against them, or even the supposed flaws of the real victim. By positioning themselves as the ones who are suffering, they seek to garner sympathy from others, including friends, family, and even legal authorities. This false narrative can be particularly damaging in custody battles, divorce proceedings, or when the Survivor seeks support from their community.
Mark A. Stephens Impact on Survivors
The constant rewriting of history by abusers leaves Survivors in a state of confusion and self-doubt. They may find it difficult to trust their own memories and experiences, making it harder to seek help or even recognize the need for it. The abuser’s narrative can also isolate the Survivor, as friends and family may be swayed by the abuser’s version of events, leading to a lack of support when it’s needed most. In Mr. Stephens case, it would seem that he is "flooding the market" with his version. Seemingly in attempt to make his version of history factual, because of the sheer number of posts "saying it is so" while his victims are mostly silent.
Abusers may try to rewrite history, but they cannot erase the truth. By standing together and supporting Survivors, we can ensure that their voices are heard, their experiences validated, and their lives restored. At Control Alt Delete, we’re committed to helping Survivors break free from the false narratives and find the strength to write their own stories.
A narcissist might deliberately delay divorce proceedings as a tactic to exert ongoing control and pressure over their spouse. This strategy, sometimes referred to as "choking out" the partner, can manifest in several ways:
-
Prolonged Legal Battles:
They may file unnecessary motions, appeals, or objections to drag out the process, increasing legal costs and emotional strain for their spouse. -
Exploitation of the Court System:
By leveraging every legal technicality, they can force prolonged negotiations and settlements, hoping the drawn-out process will wear down the other party. -
Emotional and Financial Drain:
The ongoing uncertainty and continuous legal conflict can deplete the spouse’s financial resources and emotional resilience, making it harder for them to secure a fair outcome. -
Tactical Ambivalence:
They might also alternate between aggressive legal challenges and passive resistance, keeping the spouse in a state of constant stress and uncertainty.
This approach is not only about delaying the divorce itself but also about maintaining a form of control even as the relationship formally ends. If you suspect such tactics are being used, it’s important to work with legal and mental health professionals who can help manage both the legal process and its emotional impact.
#VictoriousMarriageRestoringLove #markanthonystephens #falseaccusations #NPDStalker
Mark Stephens uses this video post to express to his followers that he is the "truth teller". While he states forgiveness, he pushes that is wife is also a liar and mocks her..
This post may seem like Mr. Stephens is talking about forgiveness, but he turns forgiving into blame at the end of most every paragraph. Deflection and lack of accountability is ambiguous unless you know the signs.
Mr. Stephens is seems to be saying that since his estranged wife hasn't forgiven him, she's sinning against God. Because HE, himself says he's healed and better.... While placing blame on his estranged wife while dismissing his actions. Because he hails GOD. His transgressions never happened.
#VictoriousMarriageRestoringLove #markanthonystephens #falseaccusations @coffee.with.jesus.390300
Victorious Marriage Restoring Love
@coffee.with.jesus.390300 #VictoriousMarriageRestoringLove #markanthonystephens #falseaccusations #NPDStalker
Victim mentality in individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) can manifest in specific ways that align with their need for attention, validation, and control. While NPD is primarily characterized by grandiosity, a sense of entitlement, and a lack of empathy, those with NPD may sometimes adopt a victim role to manipulate others or protect their fragile self-esteem. This behavior often diverges from the genuine victimhood experienced by those who have been harmed.
Features of Victim Mentality in NPD:
- Manipulative Behavior: Adopting a victim role to elicit sympathy, control narratives, or gain advantages in personal or professional relationships.
- Projection: Blaming others for their problems or shortcomings while avoiding responsibility for their own actions. Mr. Stephens in each of the examples to the left is proclaiming Godliness and healing while he excuses his behavior since it happened in the past and since his partner doesn't excuse the behavior she isn't a believer in God.
- Overexaggeration: Amplifying minor inconveniences or disagreements into perceived severe injustices.
- Deflection from Accountability: Using victimhood to redirect attention away from their harmful actions or behaviors. He is using God as a weapon to change the narrative from him being an abuser, to her being a non-believer.
- Triangulation: Pitting others against each other by portraying themselves as the harmed party.
- Fragile Ego Protection: Utilizing victimhood as a defense mechanism to shield their vulnerable self-image from criticism or perceived failure. If you read the posts closely with the FEP in mind, it's clear he's using victimhood and his own proclaimed holiness to protect his online image.
How It Differs from Genuine Victimhood:
- NPD-driven victim mentality is often self-serving and designed to manipulate others or achieve specific outcomes.
- Genuine victims seek resolution or healing, whereas those with NPD may use victim narratives to perpetuate conflict or maintain control.
Dealing with Victim Mentality in NPD:
- Set Boundaries: Clearly define what behavior is acceptable and do not enable manipulative tendencies.
- Stay Grounded: Resist emotional manipulation by remaining logical and calm in interactions.
- Seek Support: Consulting a therapist or counselor can provide strategies to navigate complex relationships with individuals exhibiting NPD traits.
- Maintain Accountability: Encourage responsibility for their actions, but recognize that deep-seated patterns may not easily change without professional intervention.
Understanding the context of victim mentality in NPD is critical to managing relationships with those affected while maintaining your own mental and emotional well-being.
Mark Anthony Stephens Jr. truly "healed"?
If someone’s actions contradict the self-awareness, accountability, and humility expressed in their words, it may indicate a disconnect between their intentions and behavior. This can happen for various reasons, and it's important to approach the situation with clarity, empathy, and boundaries. Here’s how to assess and respond to such contradictions:
1. Understanding Possible Reasons for Contradictions
- Unresolved Trauma: They might genuinely desire growth but struggle to implement change due to deeply rooted patterns from past trauma.
- Cognitive Dissonance: They may believe in the values they express but find it difficult to act on them, creating a gap between intentions and behavior.
- Lack of True Reflection: Their words could stem from a desire to be seen in a certain light rather than from a genuine commitment to change.
- Manipulative Tendencies: In some cases, such contradictions may signal intentional efforts to present a false image, which could be linked to narcissistic tendencies.
2. Signs of Genuine Growth vs. Surface-Level Change
- Genuine Growth: Comes with consistent effort, accountability, apologies for harm caused, and visible behavioral changes over time.
- Surface-Level Change: Focuses on words, grand gestures, or seeking validation, but lacks sustained actions that align with the stated values.
3. Assessing Narcissistic Patterns
- Patterns of Blame: Do they blame others (e.g., their spouse or circumstances) for their failures rather than owning their role?
- Lack of Empathy: Do they continue to dismiss or invalidate the feelings of those around them, despite claiming to care?
- Inconsistency: Are their efforts toward healing short-lived, only resurfacing when they feel their image or relationships are at risk?
Mark Anthony Stephens is portraying himself as a victim of gaslighting, despite well-documented evidence of his actions. His behavior suggests a lack of genuine self-reflection, coupled with manipulative tendencies aimed at crafting a misleading image for his followers while consistently shifting blame.
Mr. Stephens is trying to represent himself as the protector of his children, when he has been convicted of Child Abuse and Neglect, with orders of protection levied against him to protect his children from him.
The Pivot: From “Saving My Marriage” to “Fighting to See My Kids”
Rewriting History: The Mark Anthony Stephens Narrative Shift
Mark Anthony Stephens’ online presence has undergone a sudden shift. For months—maybe even years—he flooded social media with content about “never giving up on marriage,” positioning himself as a devoted husband wrongfully accused. He built a narrative around being the target of false domestic violence claims and a “smear campaign.”
But here’s the reality:
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The “smear campaign” he ranted about was largely non-existent—there was no coordinated public movement against him.
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The domestic violence allegations weren’t just allegations. He was found guilty of multiple domestic violence charges, child abuse and neglect. He has 2 LIFETIME Domestic Violence Restraining Orders, and 2 NO CONTACT orders to protect his children from HIM.
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The overwhelming majority of his “defense” was anecdotal, emotional storytelling that avoided facts. Continually talks about him having proof, and no one else having any proof, even though there is plenty of it in the court records that support the "false allegations" against him.
Now that his “marriage redemption arc” has lost steam—either because people stopped engaging, or the relationship ended—he’s shifting the focus.
New Narrative: “Lies Took My Kids Away”
Lately, Mark’s content has changed. Old photos of him in classrooms from 10 years ago are resurfacing on his feeds, accompanied by captions about how he’s an involved father being unjustly kept away from his children due to “false accusations.”
But the pattern is clear:
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He’s reframing documented abuse as misunderstanding or lies.
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He’s leveraging fatherhood images as proof of innocence, not evidence of consistent parenting.
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He’s ignoring legal outcomes in favor of emotional manipulation.
Why This Matters
This isn’t just someone venting. It’s an intentional rewrite of history. It’s reputation laundering—swapping one sob story for another when the first one wears thin. And it can be damaging, especially if others begin to believe it, or if it’s used to pressure or guilt survivors into silence.
The Mark Anthony Stephens Narrative Shift - Why Rewrite History?
That’s the big question—and it cuts deep. People like Mark Anthony Stephens often behave this way because they’re trying to preserve their sense of control, identity, and public image after being exposed. Here are some of the deeper psychological and behavioral reasons why he might be doing this:
1. Narcissistic Traits or Tendencies
He may have a deep need to be seen as the hero or victim—never the villain. When the truth doesn’t align with that self-image, he scrambles to rebuild it. Public platforms give him the perfect stage to craft a version of himself that fits the story he wants others to believe.
“I’m not abusive—I’m misunderstood. I’m not neglectful—I’m being lied about. I’m not distant—I’m a devoted dad.”
2. Avoiding Accountability
Shifting the narrative lets him avoid confronting the real damage he’s caused. If he can convince others that the system, his partner, or "lies" are to blame, he never has to admit the abuse, neglect, or harm—either to the public or himself.
3. Image Management
Old photos, emotional captions, and targeted posts are all strategic. They’re not memories; they’re evidence of character—or so he hopes. He’s trying to overwrite facts with feelings, legal findings with sentimental imagery. It’s calculated.
4. To Keep Control of the Narrative (and the People Involved)
Even after a relationship ends, people like this often want to retain control—over their ex, over how others see them, and sometimes even over the kids. If he frames himself as the wounded, loving father, he can still guilt-trip, manipulate, or pressure people behind the scenes.
5. Validation & Sympathy
When someone is driven by ego or insecurity, public sympathy is like fuel. If the “marriage warrior” narrative stops getting likes, shares, or messages of support, they switch gears. The new narrative—“I can’t see my kids because of lies”—is equally powerful, emotionally loaded, and easier to control.
In short, he’s not seeking truth or healing—he’s seeking control, attention, and a clean slate. And when he doesn’t get it, he pivots.
The Mark Anthony Stephens - The Family Leader
Weaponized faith - "Head of Household" & "Stronger/Weaker Vessel" messages
That’s classic deflection wrapped in self-righteousness.
Saying “I’m protecting my family by being a leader” is how someone like Mark reframes harmful or manipulative behavior as noble. It allows him to:
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Avoid accountability (“I’m not lying—I’m protecting.”)
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Shift blame (“If people are hurt, it’s because they don’t understand my leadership.”)
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Control the narrative (“My version of events is the truth because I’m the one who knows what’s best.”)
But real leadership—especially in a family—means:
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Taking responsibility
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Admitting when you’ve caused harm
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Putting others' emotional and physical safety above your own pride or image
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Modeling humility, not martyrdom
He’s not “protecting” his family by publicly dragging up false narratives, posting decade-old photos, or casting himself as a victim of a system that held him accountable. He’s protecting himself—from shame, from consequence, from being seen for who he really is.
Using leadership as a mask for control or manipulation is deeply damaging, especially when kids are involved. It creates confusion, guilt, and often long-term emotional fallout for everyone else… while he gets to play the misunderstood hero.
"Leadership isn’t posting old photos to rewrite history. It’s not spinning narratives to dodge accountability. And it’s definitely not calling yourself a protector while your actions leave a trail of harm.
Real leadership means owning the truth—even when it’s uncomfortable. It means taking responsibility for what actually happened, not what makes you look better. You don’t protect your family by lying to the public—you protect them by doing the inner work, apologizing where needed, and stepping back when your presence causes more pain than peace.
What you're doing isn’t leadership. It’s image control. And the people who’ve been hurt by your choices see through it—clearly.
Weaponized faith. Using scripture to justify control, superiority, or a refusal to take accountability is deeply manipulative, and unfortunately, not uncommon in situations like this. When someone like Mark Anthony Stephens cherry-picks Bible verses to frame himself as the “stronger vessel” or “ordained leader” of his family, here’s what he’s really doing:
What He’s Really Doing:
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Using Religion as a Shield
He’s hiding behind faith to avoid facing real consequences. By invoking spiritual authority, he paints himself as above reproach—like questioning him would be questioning God’s will. -
Reinforcing Power, Not Love
Biblical leadership is about servant leadership, humility, and love—not domination, silence, or control. Twisting scripture to elevate himself while diminishing the voices of others is a manipulation of both truth and theology. -
Gaslighting with God
When someone says “God made me the leader, so I know what’s best,” it leaves no room for dialogue, healing, or accountability. It turns faith into a tool of oppression, not growth.
Scripture was never meant to be a weapon used to control or silence others. True spiritual leadership isn’t about being the 'stronger vessel'—it’s about humility, accountability, and serving with love.
Twisting the Bible to justify harmful actions or dismiss real consequences doesn’t make you righteous—it makes you manipulative. You don’t get to crown yourself the ‘ordained leader’ of a family you harmed and then use that title to rewrite history.
God doesn’t bless control, lies, or abuse—no matter how well you wrap it in scripture.
Mark Anthony Stephens seems to be Crafting a Hero-Victim Persona.
It’s a classic narcissistic playbook move: using social media as a stage to control the narrative and weaponize sympathy, especially in high-conflict situations like custody or co-parenting.
If Mark Anthony Stephens is posting memes about being a good father or a victim of parental alienation or the system, here’s what that behavior is typically signaling:
1. Crafting a Hero-Victim Persona
He's trying to position himself as the noble, loving, wronged father who is being unfairly persecuted. This serves two major purposes:
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Guilt-tripping or manipulating the other parent, especially if they see the posts.
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Garnering support from outsiders (friends, family, social media followers) who might not know the full story.
2. Memes as Emotional Weapons
Memes are low-effort, high-impact tools. They:
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Give him “cover” (he can say, “I’m just sharing something that spoke to me”).
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Appeal to emotion, not logic—which is effective when he wants people to bypass critical thinking and just feel bad for him.
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Often carry passive-aggressive undertones, especially if they imply blame or martyrdom.
3. Implicit Attacks Framed as Self-Pity
Examples might include:
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“A father’s love is just as important as a mother’s—why is that so hard for some to understand?”
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“It’s heartbreaking when the court system forgets about dads who actually want to be there.”
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“Parental alienation is real, and it destroys families.”
These types of posts frame him as the victim while implying the other parent is the villain—without having to say anything directly.
4. Image Control
He may not actually be actively parenting or supporting the child in real life, but:
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Posting makes it look like he’s fighting for them.
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He gets to maintain a reputation as a “good dad” or a “devoted father” among people who don’t see behind the scenes.
It’s performative empathy—a front meant to preserve his ego and influence public opinion.
5. Projection and Deflection
If he’s been emotionally abusive, neglectful, or controlling in private, this kind of posting can be a smokescreen:
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He projects blame onto the other parent or the system.
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He deflects attention away from any of his actions that led to current circumstances.
6. Social Pressure Tactics
These posts also function as a kind of covert threat—a way to shame or pressure the other parent publicly.
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If the other parent responds or pushes back, he’ll play it off like they’re unstable or bitter.
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If they stay silent, his narrative goes unchallenged.
TL;DR:
Mark’s meme-posting is likely an attempt to rewrite the story, look like the hero-dad, and gain sympathy by painting himself as a victim of alienation or injustice—while potentially masking behavior that contributed to the situation in the first place.
Mark Sharing “raw” or “deep” content designed to make them look emotionally intelligent or like a wounded soul in need of love.
Training with his boys 10 years ago.
Trying to manipulate public perception. When people are publicly confronted with serious accusations or even a guilty verdict—especially something as serious as child abuse and neglect—they sometimes try to curate a new narrative using old photos or selective moments to paint themselves in a better light. It’s important to recognize the tactic: posting old images out of context to gain sympathy or cast doubt on established facts. If he was found guilty, the record speaks louder than any photo op from a decade ago.
Mark Sharing “raw” or “deep” content designed to make them look emotionally intelligent or like a wounded soul in need of love.
Mark Anthony Stephens is portraying himself as a victim of parental alienation when he has be found guilty on multiple counts of Child Neglect and Abuse. This post would seem to confirm that he has no intention of taking the path that would require him to put the work into resolving the No Contact Orders his children have against him. He seems resigned to never talk to his children again.
Mark Sharing “raw” or “deep” content designed to make them look emotionally intelligent or like a wounded soul in need of love.
It would seem that a man that didn't walk away so easily and walked away pretty easily considering that he is refusing to follow the courts orders to Mental Health and Domestic Evaluations to determine path to seeing his children. Why would someone who loves their children so much, or says "You are my world" no do that?
Mark calls his children his "true home" and "Legacy". I love you forever and you are my world, but he refuses the path the courts have given him to start the reconciliation process. If he loves them so much? The question remains as to why he would refuse?
Mark Anthony Stephens seems to be seeking a new supply.
He's Blessed and making sure his @followers know it.- New Beginnings and So many Blessings look up God is Directing my steps in all his ways.
Over-the-top posts about self-growth, healing, or how they’ve “overcome so much.” So true been through this 🙂 God is Good
Seeking attention via Social Media Selfie. Veiled attempt at making it about God, but is clearing seeking validation and admiration.
When a narcissist is courting a new supply, it’s like watching someone go into full performance mode. Their goal is to attract admiration, attention, and emotional investment—and social media is one of their favorite stages. Here’s what it often looks like:
1. Carefully Curated Persona
They’ll present an idealized version of themselves—charming, successful, deep, misunderstood, spiritual, philanthropic—whatever they think will resonate with the new person (or people) they’re targeting. It appears he is trying to build a house of victimhood and excuses as to why he doesn't see his children.
Examples:
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Over-the-top posts about self-growth, healing, or how they’ve “overcome so much.”
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Sharing quotes about loyalty, betrayal, or emotional depth.
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Photos showing off success, physical attractiveness, or status (new car, vacation, gym selfies, etc.).
2. Strategic Vulnerability
They’ll share “raw” or “deep” content designed to make them look emotionally intelligent or like a wounded soul in need of love.
It might sound like:
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“I’ve been through a lot, but I still believe in love.”
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“Some people only love you when it’s convenient.”
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“Not everyone can handle a real one.”
This vulnerability is often manipulative, not authentic—it's bait for empathy.
3. Subtle (or Not-So-Subtle) Jabs at the Last Person
They post cryptic messages or memes that subtly suggest they were the victim in their past relationship or friendship.
Examples:
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“Losing me was their loss.”
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“I gave everything and got nothing in return.”
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“Energy doesn’t lie. Some people just weren’t real.”
These posts are designed to:
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Trigger the old supply.
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Make the new supply feel protective or aligned with the narcissist.
4. Love Bombing in Public
If they’ve already started talking to the new person, expect: (as of the end of March, it doesn't appear that he has this yet)
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Constant likes, comments, reposts of their content.
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Overly flattering comments (“This person is the realest,” “So lucky to know you,” etc.).
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Joint photos or tags very early in the connection.
It’s part of the grooming process—to show off the “perfect connection” and secure the supply before any red flags show up.
5. Sudden Life Makeover
They might appear to be “leveling up”:
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Talking about new goals, passions, or making drastic lifestyle changes.
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Posting about how “they’re in a better place now” or “finally surrounded by real ones.”
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This signals to the new supply that they’re “growing” or “maturing,” even though it’s often just rebranding.
6. Constant Activity and Overexposure
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Stories updated non-stop.
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Posts designed to appear desirable, adventurous, or enlightened.
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Hashtag overload (#blessed #newchapter #growth) Mark uses @followers @highlights most every post.
They’re trying to be seen. Narcissistic supply needs an audience—and social media gives them one.
Bonus: They Mirror What the New Person Likes
If the new target is into nature, suddenly they’re posting hikes. If they’re spiritual, it’s all about crystals and energy. If they’re into fitness, gym selfies abound. It’s calculated mimicry to create artificial compatibility.
TL;DR:
On social media, a narcissist courting new supply looks like a walking highlight reel of emotional depth, glow-up energy, and victimhood, mixed with flirtation, ego boosts, and thinly veiled shots at their past. It’s a performance—and the stage is set for whoever they want to pull in next.
When a narcissist shifts their focus from one person to another—especially while adopting a victim narrative—it can be a subtle yet manipulative process. This tactic is often part of what’s known as “narcissistic supply management.” Here’s what that shift often looks like in real life:
1. Sudden Detachment from the Previous Target
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They may abruptly go cold or indifferent toward the person they were previously idealizing, criticizing, or manipulating.
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They stop responding, ghost, or minimize the person’s significance (“They were crazy,” “I never really trusted them,” etc.).
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This person is now being “devalued” or discarded in classic narcissistic behavior.
2. Overlapping Manipulation
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Before fully discarding one target, they may already be grooming the next person for attention, validation, or sympathy.
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They present themselves as misunderstood, mistreated, or emotionally wounded from the last relationship/friendship/job/etc.
3. Playing the Victim to the New Target
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They shift the story: the previous person becomes “abusive,” “toxic,” “manipulative,” or “jealous.”
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They highlight how much they “gave” and how little they got in return—seeking sympathy, alliance, or admiration.
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They might say things like, “I just try to be a good person and people keep walking all over me.”
4. Triangulation
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They bring up the old target in conversations with the new one—subtly or overtly—to manipulate emotions.
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They may say the new person is “so much more understanding” or “finally someone who sees me for who I really am.”
5. Mirroring and Love Bombing
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The new person receives intense attention, validation, and interest.
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They may copy the new person’s interests, values, or opinions to create a false sense of closeness.
6. Reinvention of Identity
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They may suddenly change their role in the story—from assertive leader to sensitive victim—depending on what they think the new target wants or responds to.
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They may even adopt traits or values they mocked before to seem relatable or pitiable.
7. Smear Campaigns Against the Old Target
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Behind the scenes, they may be trash-talking the old target to mutual friends or online, continuing their narrative of being wronged.
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This serves to both isolate the old person and bond with the new one over shared “enemies.”
TL;DR:
A narcissist shifting tactics often means moving from idealizing one person to idealizing another—while painting themselves as the victim of the first. It’s a manipulation cycle designed to gain sympathy, control, and emotional supply from their new focus.
The Big Cutout: “Claims He's Being Cut Out While Physically Erasing His Kids' Mother”
Cropped Out: How Mark Stephens Manipulates Family Photos to Rewrite Reality
Mark Stephens' actions—claiming victimhood while actively manipulating family memories—are consistent with a tactic called "projection" and "image control." Projection is when someone accuses others of the very behavior they are guilty of, often to divert attention or sympathy toward themselves. By publicly claiming that the boys' mother is trying to remove him from their lives, he positions himself as the wronged party. Yet, his private actions—such as cropping, erasing, and scribbling out the mother and stepfather from family photos—demonstrate his own deliberate effort to erase their involvement and memory from the boys' lives. This behavior aligns with a pattern of emotional manipulation and abuse documented elsewhere in your accounts. It allows Mark to appear sympathetic and victimized publicly, while privately continuing a campaign of control, isolation, and emotional alienation. This is part of a broader pattern aimed at maintaining power and influence over his children, undermining their trust in their mother and stepfather, and rewriting history to suit his narrative.
Original Photo: Boy's and their mother.
Mark taking the time to not only crop people out, but to also scribble their mother out of the photo.
Original Photo posted on his boy's mother's facebook account.
Mark taking the time to not only crop people out, but to also scribble their mother out of the photo.
Original Photo from Mark's kids mother's Social Media
Mark has cropped out his boy's step father. Left the man behind them that is their step grand father.
Projection & Deception: Mark Stephens Claims He's Being Cut Out While Physically Erasing His Kids' Mother from Family Memories
Mark Stephens cutting the boys' mom and stepfather out of family pictures before posting them is a method of image control and manipulation. By removing Melissa and you, he's attempting to rewrite the narrative, presenting himself as the sole, involved parent, creating the illusion that he has a healthy, close relationship with the boys, while simultaneously erasing any positive influence or emotional connection they have with their mother and stepfather.
This behavior serves several specific purposes:
1. Narrative Control
He wants to appear as the "perfect" or "dedicated" father publicly. Posting altered images lets him control how others perceive his role in the boys' lives, eliminating evidence of shared family experiences.
2. Minimizing Roles
Removing his Mother and Step Father is symbolic—by literally cropping you out, he's asserting dominance and diminishing your significance. It’s a subtle, psychological tactic to suggest your roles in the boys' lives are marginal or non-existent.
3. Emotional Manipulation
It reinforces isolation and confusion in the boys. If they see these altered images, it sends a clear message: their mother and stepfather are replaceable or insignificant, encouraging them to question the validity of their own memories and experiences.
4. Public Perception and Victimhood
He thrives on sympathy and attention. Posting edited images positions him as a victim or as the parent who is actively involved despite being "wronged," fueling support from friends, family, or followers who don’t know the full story.
Mark's behavior—claiming victimization while actively doing exactly what he accuses others of—is typically justified through a distorted psychological mechanism known as cognitive dissonance reduction. Cognitive dissonance occurs when a person's behaviors contradict their stated beliefs or self-image. To reduce this discomfort, individuals often construct justifications or rationalizations that allow them to believe their actions are valid or necessary.
Here are specific ways Mark might internally justify his actions:
1. Victim Mentality
Mark genuinely believes (or convinces himself) he's the victim. In his view, every action he takes—like cropping images and excluding the mother and stepfather—is self-defense, justified retaliation, or necessary protection against perceived threats.
2. Projection and Deflection
He attributes his own negative actions onto Melissa and the stepfather, projecting his faults onto them. This technique lets him avoid guilt or responsibility, reframing himself as a protector or someone forced into drastic measures by "the real aggressors."
3. Maintaining Control
Mark’s underlying need for control is so powerful that any step the mother takes to assert boundaries (like court procedures for parenting time) is seen as a direct threat. To preserve control, he feels justified manipulating reality and rewriting narratives—even if he logically knows these actions contradict his public persona.
4. Entitlement
He may sincerely feel entitled to control the narrative about his children and family life, believing his viewpoint is the only valid one. Any attempt by others to set boundaries or assert their perspective becomes a violation of his perceived rights.
5. Denial and Minimization
He downplays or dismisses his own contradictions. He might convince himself these edits—cropping out their mother and stepfather—are insignificant or harmless, rationalizing them as necessary to "protect" his children, rather than seeing them as manipulative actions.
6. Selective Memory and Revisionism
Over time, Mark rewrites history in his mind to align with his current narrative. He genuinely begins to believe his altered versions of events, making his contradictions invisible to himself.
In short, Mark isn’t necessarily consciously lying or scheming at every step. Instead, he’s likely engaging in deep psychological gymnastics—rationalizing behaviors, distorting reality, and convincing himself of his righteousness—to reconcile the stark contradictions between what he says publicly and what he actually does privately.